New Feeling

Since my early childhood I was afraid of death. I could not imagine to touch a dead one, dying one, disabled, handicapped and even elderly ones. I was keeping away of all just mentioned. But once I admitted it is time to spiritually grow I had to somehow overcome all my fears from the past. Fortunately God showed me the right way very soon. I became a nursing assistant. For those living in USA a nursing home is something well known for millions of people here end up their lives in such places. For me it turned to a place to solve my spiritual blockages.

For more than 3 years I work as a nursing assistant and during my practice I have seen many different places including the largest hospitals in Southern California (almost all floors), rehabilitation centers, nursing homes and assisted living facilities as well as thousands of patients and residents.

It happened early February 2003 at one rehabilitation center.
Since i work for an agency, staffing many facilities, i go different places ( where it is needed ) but at that time i had often worked at that place.

There was a patient there, in a private room, nobody wanted to work with. His door was always closed and when he needed something he put his light "on" to let the nursing staff know . He was always gloomy. Getting angry very fast for no reason, talking violently and abusively to the people serving him. Simply a very difficult person.
So, it happened to have him in my assignment for a few times.

One day, early afternoon, when I went there to work I got his room again in my assignment. And the charge nurse told me that he just died and there is no need to enter his room. But the body was still in the room. And because i was curious to see him again i entered the room very soon. I closed the door and got close to the bed. The body was lying there still and silent. I touched his face and left my hand on his forehead, relaxing for a while. Suddenly i felt something in my heart and for my big surprise it was happiness.

O my God!! I was happy for that man who just dropped his body.

Why?

Because he was suffering all the time in his loneliness ( who wants to stay with so difficult people and to visit them?) as well as from physical pain.

A new feeling came into existence.

Soon later on I realized: it must be the way people feel after someone is dead. It was a relief from extreme physical and emotional pain. And a new chance to find your way back home to God.

With heart filled with happiness I thanked God for His infinite Grace and Wisdom.

with love

georgi