Since my early childhood I have searched for answers on questions like: “Who created all the universes and planet systems?”, “Who created our planet Earth?”, “How it happened?”, “If it is God, why can’t we see him” etc. And none of the adults around was able to satisfy my hunger for the truth. Later, it happened a few times to talk to priests, but I could never digest the too sophisticated theological answers.
I also started reading science fiction like crazy, but there were also no answers . So, I turned to atheist and stopped my quest for God. Until the age of 42 when serious incident happened and I got all the time to think about the purpose of life on Earth.
And a magic series of happenings started:
A friend of mine gave me “Autobiography of a Yogi” ( it was not officially translated in Bulgaria at that time, but someone did it on his own and the book was forwarded from person to person in two parts ) and I finished the first part overnight. I was so much impressed, that immediately sat on the computer and typed “kriya yoga” in the search box. And the first link I clicked on was Cyberspace Ashram for Kriya Yoga ( never clicked on another link ). This is how I found Hans and I visited him in Germany. Ten months later my friend offered me to accompany him in his trip to Germany for free and I visited Hans again. Soon after that kundalini “awakening” started and I spent 3 days without sleep, most of the time lying on my back with tremendous flow of energy throughout my body and humming sound in my ears. A month later we immigrated to the USA.
Here I started to consciously feel the spiritual presence and spiritual guidance in my life.
One day I picked up one of those free newsletters offering jobs, opened it somewhere in the middle and the first thing I saw was posting by a company offering caregiver positions and free training. Instant flash in my mind “That’s it!”. I had always avoided direct contact with elderly, ill and dying people and facing death in general and that was exactly what I needed.
A bit later something similar happened to find nursing aide / CNA profession – this time with a posting card for preliminary CNA test.
And it went on.
Here I want to mention that, at that time, I was already doing Kriya Yoga on a daily basis, purifying my physical body by regular fasting ( clean water only ) and strict vegetarian diet.
How I perceive my spiritual guidance
It comes into my mind in the form of a thought, but not as result of my own brain activity. It appears in my mind instantly, the first thought ever, especially when I face a few choice situation. Just to give you an example: imagine you go to the store to buy certain thing and the associate there tells you that they have it in different variations. Before he even finishes his explanation, you already got the right one in your mind.
Now, I would like to confess that sometimes I disregard my spiritual guidance and do the things my Ego way. And I always regret about that and pay high price for my Ego decisions. Such happened last year, when I broke my leg, during my visit to Washington DC to renew my passport. I instantly got the right choice at Bulgarian Embassy, what and how to do it, but I disregarded it. I mention this just to show you how high the price might be.
Another thing to mention about my spiritual guidance is that sometimes I lose my awareness about it. It usually happens when I am pulled deep into “material world” like shopping or focusing too much on certain problems.
Spiritual presence in my life
It started early 2001 in a dream with Gurudeva. Later when I increased my kriya yoga practice I started feeling it regularly, especially when I am involved in loving actions.
How do I feel spiritual presence and who do I feel
Whenever I do something that creates happiness in other people I feel God and God’s Love. My Sahasrara chakra instantly opens and God’s bliss starts flowing through my entire system. Or whenever I approach people who need spiritual advice and ask for it, when I start talking God descends on the scene – all is light around. The same happens when I exchange pure love ( heart to heart ), no words, with certain people who are open. Needless to say: it always happens with my wife, when we look at each other eyes longer.
I also feel my Guru’s presence. I feel his aura and his love across the planet.
I also feel other beings if they are around, but when it is about God I only trust Gurudeva and do not pay attention to others.
God is Love and anybody can feel it even in a physical body. Change your mind, change your life, make love the only priority in your life and you will also start feeling it.
God bless you